The "Tell me a joke" thread
I'm show we've all got our favorite jokes, so I thought I'd create a place where we can demonstrate why we have day jobs that do not include the title "Stand up Comedian".
Let's keep it PG rated as well - there may be children watching and I'm a very impressionable bear...
I'll start one off with the tale of Joe (someone with whom all consultants might identify with):
Joe, an IT consultant, is enjoying a specially exuberant "post go-live" party with one of his many clients. Consuming one-too-many burgers with five-too-many shots of Bourbon, Joe's heart finely gives up and he collapses on the floor, Stone cold dead.
Joe awakens to a glorious heavenly scene. Beautiful white feathered Angels tooting horns float around him and all of heaven is there to greet him. Signs everywhere proclaim "Welcone, Joe!" and "Well done, Joe!"
Out of the mists Joe spies St Peter walking towards him, a broad smile from ear to heavenly ear.
"Joe!", St Peter exclaims. "Welcome to heaven. Oh how excited we all are to finally meet you!"
Confused, Joe asks "Does everyone who dies get this welcome?"
"Oh no, no, no, no, no!", St Peter chuckles. "You're a very special person!"
"I am?", Joe asked, all quite puzzled by the celebrations going on on his apparent honor. "Why?"
"Why? You ask?", St Peter replied with a hearty laugh, "Why, You're the oldest living human, you've outlived Noah, Jared and even old Methusulah himself! Your name will ring out amongst the pantheon's!"
Joe was very confused. "I'm honored, truly, but very confused. I was 56 just last week. Didn't Methusulah live to be something like 1,000 years old?
"Yes, but you made it to 1,357 years! Oh my, what an achievement!" St Peter explained.
"No, I was 56 last week. I remember the party very well."
St Peter chuckled to himself. "You must be confused my friend. The figures are right - We summed up all your timesheets!"
(I'll show myself out the door)
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